I occasionally say that I do not like selfish women. That mostly applies towards things like money as well as various aspects of relationship unrelated to sex itself. When it comes to sex however it gets much more nuanced.
To begin with let's talk about the core sexual act itself. This is where nature made it that selfish indulgence of one's sexual desires simultaneously pleases these of the opposite gender partner. A nature way of compelling people to fuck and procreate. Men enjoy themselves by slicking their dick into a hole and stroking it there, or into their hand if hole is not available. Women equally enjoy when someone sticks their dick inside their holes and stroke it, in absence of dick they may try to satisfy themselves with something phallic instead.
Here selfishness works best for both genders. Problems only begin when say a guy starts thinking he should not treat her as mere hole for sticking his dick into it and starts doing something other than that. It drives relationship down very fast due to not satisfying your dick urges with her holes also lead towards her not getting her orgasms.
Women too can equally fuck it up if they start thinking they should stop being a mere object, peace of fuckmeat with holes, and start doing something. No matter what she does, it will do no good. There is reason men say that if god loved men, he would place vaginas in tree stumps for men's convenience.
In fact either gender who ends up trapped in not be selfish loop, ends up with disappointing heterosexual relationship due to them assuming their partner's desires are same rather than complimentary to their own. Its due to this problem some end up becoming homosexual.
Outside of core sexual act however, selfishness is a problem. Here however I will have to clarify what selfishness is.
The most simple example is number of partners. In a threesome or multi-some, where one gender is outnumbered by another, the more numerous gender is at disadvantage. They either have to share the one person of the opposite gender between themselves or compete for their attention against other members of the same gender. They had to deal with being neglected for prolonged periods of time, while the only opposite gender person is busy with some else or even completely ignored.
On the other hand the outnumbered gender is clearly in a privileged position, spoiled for choice and surrounded by abundance of opposite gender genitalia that are pleasurable for them. They get to set the game and multiple members of the opposite gender have no choice, but go along due to lack of alternatives. Its like that meme about bread lining up for customers vs customers queuing for bread.
Because of the above, it will not be a stretch to call desire for multiple partners selfish, as it clearly puts the one in the privileged position of power in a relationship.
That is also why I never watch porn with one woman and multiple men, but watch a lot of porn with one man and multiple women. I do like women in empowered privileged position. I want them to beg for men's attention and approval, worship him and line up for him like bread for customers.
Number of partners is not the only thing, however. Other things, clothes, manner of speech and everything really communicate one's status in a relationship.
The one wearing comfortable clothes is the one who is in spoiled privileged position and enjoying themselves at their leisure. The one wearing over the top uncomfortable sexualised clothes designed to appeal to the opposite gender is the one begging for attention and struggling to please and be approved.
When it comes to behavior, the one who bows, open doors, vacate seats, brings food and drinks is the one doing the pleasing. The one who enjoys benefits of such servitude is the one privileged. That is why I am against various gestures of courtesy towards women. They set future dynamics of relationship wrong by rooting it a dynamic with the guy a manservant.
Even simple things like words the couple use to call each other are all part of this dynamic. Calling woman a lady, is not but a simple courtesy. It does set the very same dynamic of being a manservant to a female of a high status and a man should avoid it unless they are into it. A women can and should address a man respectfully if she wants to communicate her willingness to serve and please him, words like 'Sir' or even sire can help with that.
Other things like fetishes and such all fundamentally go down to this very same foundational idea about power and status in a relationship.
I like things that put woman in a subordinate subservient position in a relationship. All from BDSM gear, to maid outfits, to lingerie, to various small rituals, gestures, poses and forms of address has to highlight this basic principle. She is but a servant that obeys my will and serves my comfort and pleasure. It does not mean she does not get orgasm from the sexual act itself, but in all aspects around it she has to act like she is my servant.
At the same time, I do not like anything that takes away from this power structure. Anything that gives her agency or power is abhorrent to me. That is why I do not like women wearing male business suits, bun hair and the like. Neither do I like them acting assertive or confident. It does not communicate that she is at my beck and call, at my service. It communicates the opposite.
Also, I do not care if anyone finds any of this objectionable. If you do not like anything, you have no place in my life. I only go for women who match my standards.
